Of all the speculation, rumors and criticisms surrounding the Tiger Woods scandal, none upsets me more than the complaints from black women that all of Tiger’s “mistresses” were white.
I use the term mistresses lightly because all the evidence points to these women being at best regular booty calls and more likely a transaction less than hookers.Still, some sisters seem offended that Tiger chose not to use or exploit any black women. C’mon ladies, we can do better than this. We have Michelle Obama, the first black First Lady in the White House. Mrs. Obama is setting the standard for grace and elegance. Even the First Lady of France can’t keep up. Last year Disney released the Princes and the Frog, the first Disney animation featuring a black princess. (Although it bothers me that she spent most of the movie as a frog). So what if we didn’t make Tiger’s skank ho list. What type of woman aspires to be one of many women who have slept with a known married man?Sometimes as black women we are so obsessed with black men who have white female mates that we can’t think straight. We take personally the individual choices of men we don’t even know. It wasn’t that long ago that black women railed against stereotypes of being sexually exotic or promiscuous. So I say don’t berate, celebrate and be thankful that No black women made Tiger’s skank ho list.
At the University of South Florida in the late 1980s I was the only black person on the school’s daily newspaper staff. In 1990 I became only the second black sports writer in the history of the Pittsburgh Press. Often I found myself the only female in the press box. But none of that prepared me for the challenges associated with waking up every morning, the only black person in my household.
Raising White Girls is about the relationship between me, a black woman and my two white step daughters. The situation begins with my marriage to their father and how instantly me, the outsider, becomes the primary caretaker for these two girls as they grow into young women. The story includes confrontations and revelations about marriage, divorce, race, gender and parenting. And then there’s a wedding.
In Raising White Girls I explore the true meaning of family, which transcends race, biology and even divorce. As I struggle as a parent and the girls try to adjust to my parenting our bond as a family grows deeper. Whether created through marriage, adoption or tragedy (as with death of primary caretakers), families endure through love, common goals and a shared interest in being a family. A family is more than who you are. A family is also how you are, with each other.
About the Blog
Merlisa's blog is dedicated to exploring issues and events about women and race.
The blog is an extension of the memoir she is writing titled "Raising White Girls", the story of her relationship with her step-daughters.
About the Blogger